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Ten Tips to Improve Your Self Esteem

Why is it that many people sabotage themselves?

Why do people feel they don’t deserve a good life or the better things in life?

Why are so many people unhappy?

It is heart breaking to think that:

44% of girls and 15% of boys are trying to lose weight in high school

70% of girls in high school often avoid going to school because they feel bad about their looks

20% of teens experience depression

7 million women and 1 million men have eating disorders

Only 2% of women think they are beautiful!!!

 

These are only a few of the statistics plaguing our society. The sad part is that it doesn’t end there – it translates to job performance, success, and most importantly your overall happiness.

Here are some of the symptoms

Social withdrawal

Anxiety and emotional turmoil

Lack of social skills and self confidence. Depression and/or bouts of sadness

Less social conformity

Eating disorders

Inability to accept compliments

An Inability to see yourself ‘squarely’ – to be fair to yourself

Accentuating the negative

Exaggerated concern over what you imagine other people think

Self neglect

Treating yourself badly but NOT other people

Worrying whether you have treated others badly

Reluctance to take on challenges

Reluctance to put yourself first or anywhere.

Reluctance to trust your own opinion

Expecting little out of life for yourself.

If you or someone you know show any of these symptoms, get together with them and have an open and honest conversation and let’s help each other to start on a better, brighter, more beautiful day.

Here are ten ways to improve your life and improve your self-esteem.

It does not come easy, it does take work, hard work. But the benefits are nothing short of fantastic.

Image by Alexas Fotos

 

1. You should surround yourself with people who are positive and supportive, and shun friends who are cynical and negative. This will generate a huge swell of positive feelings in you. You will respect yourself more, and your self-esteem will grow. We all know the old saying; “Garbage in, garbage out!” So true with the people we hang out with, we are the average of the 5 closest people to us in attitude, physical shape, financially, and emotionally.

         "Happiness is contagious"

        “You can not change the people around you. But you can change the people that you choose to be around.”

        "Whatever you put around yourself, you will be the mirror of it. Surround yourself with things you love". Marcel Wanders

 

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             2. You should be clear about what you want to achieve in life. Set goals, and work for their achievement. To make your task easier, break your main goal into several                      smaller goals which are relatively easier to achieve. This will make the task of reaching your main goals seem easier. It will also give you a feeling of satisfaction                      whenever you achieve one of the smaller goals.

 

                   “If you want to be happy, set a goal that commands your thoughts, liberates your energy and inspires your hopes.” —Andrew Carnegie

 

                   “By recording your dreams and goals on paper, you set in motion the process of becoming the person you most want to be. Put your future in good hands—your                            own.”  —Mark Victor Hansen

 

                    “It must be borne in mind that the tragedy of life doesn’t lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy lies in having no goals to reach.” —Benjamin E. Mays

 

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          3. Always be positive about yourself and keep reminding yourself about your good qualities, your accomplishments and how you help your family, friends, others and                  yourself. Don’t make the mistake of brooding over negative things, and never put yourself down. I learned a cool trick that works. Put a rubber band around your                        wrist and every time that you have a negative thought snap the rubber band. If you have a particularly bad negative self-degrading thought snap yourself twice. It                       won’t be long before you notice you are snapping yourself less often.

 

            “Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow.”

             — Helen Keller

 

            “Positive thinking is more than just a tagline. It changes the way we behave. And I firmly believe that when I am positive, it not only makes me better, but it also                         makes those around me better.”

            — Harvey Mackay

 

           “Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.”

           — Winston Churchill

 

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           4. Develop the ability to accept criticism about yourself, without getting upset or defensive. This will help you eliminate your weaknesses one by one. However, make                 sure that the criticism is constructive. Don’t allow yourself to be overwhelmed by criticism that is cynical or meant to lower your self-esteem. This will be a great                       mistake, and do irreparable damage to your self-esteem.

Leo Babauta writes; “Stop Your First Reaction

If your first reaction is to lash back at the person giving the criticism, or to become defensive, take a minute before reacting at all. Take a deep breath, and give it a little thought.”

Nicole Lindsay shares; “Listen for Understanding

You’ve avoided your typical reaction, your brain is working, and you’ve recalled all the benefits of feedback—high-five! Now, you’re ready to engage in a productive dialogue as your competent, thoughtful self (as opposed to your combative, Mean Girls self).

Alan Henry comments; “Write down those useful tidbits in your own words. Doing this removes the heightened emotion and lets you step back from the criticism, look at the it with clear eyes, and separate the advice from how you felt when you got it so you're more likely to act on it.”

 

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            5. We all need to accept the fact that we will fail from time to time. We should not let it get us down or to have too much of a negative effect on us. We should think                      that we have not been successful this time and that we will succeed the next time. This will help us to pull ourselves together and move on. Such an attitude will                        help us overcome the most difficult conditions.

 

               "Failure isn't fatal, but failure to change might be" - John Wooden

 

                “Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid only by                       saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.” - Denis Waitley

 

                “Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.” - Napoleon Hill

 

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              6. Never compare yourself with others. This is the easiest way to feel inferior and lose self-esteem. It is much better to rate yourself on your achievements. Such an                        approach will give you self-confidence. At the same time it will make you feel better when dealing with your peer group.

 

                 I Don't Idolize Anyone But The Person I Have The Potential To Be

 

                What Lies Behind You And What Lies In Front Of You Pales In Comparison To What Lies Inside You

 

                Every Minute You Spend Wishing You Had Someone Else's Life Is A Minute Spent Wasting Yours

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              7. Never put yourself down. Failures are like parasites. If you allow them to grow they will eat away your self-confidence, self-respect and self-esteem. The best is to                    push negative thoughts out of your mind, if you want others to treat you with respect. This can only happen when you project a positive exterior, even in most                           adverse situations. Make it a point to filter out all self-criticism.

 

                  “Remember, you have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.”

        ― LOUISE L. HAY,

      “Inside Critics

 

     The critical voices in our own heads are far more vicious than what we might hear from the outside. Our "inside critics" have intimate knowledge of us and can zero        in on our weakest spots.

 

    You might be told by the critics that you're too fat, too old, too young, not intelligent enough, a quitter, not logical, prone to try too many things...

     It's all balderdash!

 

   Some elements of these may be true, and it's completely up to you how they affect you. Inside critics are really just trying to protect you. You can:

 

   Learn to dialogue with them.

  Give them new jobs.

  Turn them into allies.

  You can also dismantle/exterminate them.”

      ― Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy

 

  “The great thing about making yourself the villain is nobody’s likely to contradict you.”

  ― Peter Watts, Echopraxia

 

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8. Don’t give in to bullies in your place of work or in your personal life. You must learn to stand up to them. This can only happen if you are assertive about your rights. Of course, this does not mean that you should pick up physical battles to make your point. On the contrary, you should exercise restraint and make your point in a dignified manner. This will not only make others treat you with respect but also increase your self-esteem.

 

              “It is our choices…that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.”

 

              “People say sticks and stones may break your bones, but names can never hurt you, but that’s not true. Words can hurt. They hurt me. Things were said to me that I                    still haven’t forgotten.” –Demi Lovato

 

              “Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.” – Judy Garland

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               9.You may be self-conscious and because of this you may avoid talking to groups of people. Try to approach groups of people and introduce yourself to them. Ask                        them questions about themselves and try to be genuinely interested in the answers. Listen carefully and attentively to what they say and respond to show your                            interest. Interacting with people will make you feel more relaxed. You will realize that it is easy to speak to groups of people and to relax by concentrating on what                   others are saying, rather than on yourself.

 

               “Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-brake on.”    

                Maxwell Maltz

 

  “Even in social life, you will never make a good impression on other people until you stop thinking about what sort of impression you're making.”

               C.S. Lewis

 

“Until you value yourself, you won’t value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it.”

             M. Scott Peck

 

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            10. Self-esteem is also dependent upon the feeling of well-being. A lazy person or a poorly groomed person will always feel inferior to a confident, smart individual.                       So, you need to take good care of your body. Remember, a healthy body is essential for a healthy mind.

 

                “The concept of total wellness recognizes that our every thought, word, and behavior affects our greater health and well-being. And we, in turn, are affected not only                    emotionally but also physically and spiritually.”

                 Greg Anderson

 

  “Cheerfulness is the best promoter of health and is as friendly to the mind as to the body.    

              Joseph Addison

 

             “A healthy outside starts from the inside.

             Robert Urich